I make little secret of the fact I was an unsuccessful student as a child. Some believed I was learning disabled…My mother was convinced I had Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (ADD’s twisted big brother). With no medical training and a hazy memory I will avoid self- diagnosis but I will say this: I had no difficulty focusing my attention and behaving myself when the information presented was interesting to me. I would lay on the floor at the library for hours, sometimes reading multiple books in a day from cover to cover. My interests were varied and admittedly often capricious but topics exist that have retained my attention for three decades. I also had very little difficulty behaving myself when the person in authority was patient, tolerant and kind.
Nevertheless, I was a really strange kid. I was precocious and somewhat intelligent for a kid who couldn’t pass math class. My taste in books, music, movies and personal habits were mature far beyond my years…And I was talented. During the week I failed at school but on the weekends I played the drums for a successful Boston area jazz band at clubs and private events.
I can clearly remember the first time I read Holden Caulfield describing his experience walking into a club in Manhattan…Ordering drinks…Trying so hard to seem calm and mature and to fit in. All while feeling angry, scared and discontent inside. He was an awkward kid wandering around in a confusing, grownup world. This is why it comes as little surprise to me today that Catcher in the Rye was my first favorite novel, selected when I was 13 years old. At the time I didn’t have the self-knowledge or even the language to understand concepts like identification but I certainly felt it. In my selfish, self-centered teenage mind, when I first read Catcher in the Rye I felt like someone had written the story of my life before I was born.
Of course, today I know the connection I felt to J.D. Salinger’s classic character was far from unique. Catcher in the Rye is one of the most successful American novels of all time. It still sells a quarter of a million copies a year with total sales of over 65 million copies. This is likely due to the fact that regardless of what life was like for you on the outside, regardless of your financial situation, eccentricities or personal interests…If you were a teenager when you first read Catcher in the Rye it is very likely you could relate to the angst Holden Caulfield felt on the inside and described so well. That is what really makes it so special. As a young man my perception was some details of my life had an uncanny resemblance to Holden’s…but that has nothing to do with why I related to his struggles so well.
Today I am a grown man, still claiming Catcher as my favorite book, though I haven’t read it in 20 years. When I learned JD Salinger died yesterday I remembered a few things I had forgotten to let go of. I think I’ll find a new favorite book and let Holden…and Salinger…and my former self rest in peace. But I am genuinely curious to know…what was your experience with the story of Holden Caulfield?